A Love that I Don't Understand. . .

Lately I have been trying to understand the love of Jesus, our Lord and Savior.  But I can't comprehend it.  I feel lost because I don't understand this love and what it truly means to follow Him.  Since we have stopped leading Young Life, learning to live out the gospel in our daily lives has been a challenge.  With Young Life you had a wonderful tool to provide high school students with to share the gospel.  However, without this tool it is difficult!  I am worried what people will think of me since I live my life differently and if I will be loved just as I am.  I am worried about being outspoken about my faith.  But this is what Jesus has called us to.  The other day Alex and I were discussing how to love the Lord better in our lives.   He brought up the last words that Jesus says in the book of Matthew, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded to you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. " (Matthew 28:18-20.)  But are we doing this?  Are we ashamed of the gospel?

Recently our church finished a series of being a fan vs being a follower of Jesus.  For the past eight years I have called myself a follower.  However, am I truly following Jesus?  Praise God for grace, because that is what saves me.  I do not follow Jesus well every day.  I fall short.  However, I want to follow Jesus better.  I want to live the life that Jesus has called me to, but I think I am afraid.  I am afraid of becoming uncomfortable.  I am comfortable in life right now.  I am comfortable in our home, my job, my family, marriage and community.  Since I have been feeling this way, I am trying to discover the love of Jesus and his righteousness.    I know that I don't want to keep living my life the way I am.  I want to know the love of Jesus and fall in love with him all over again.  I want to be in awe of Jesus and who is he as Lord.

Francis Chan couldn't put it better.  In his book "Crazy Love," he states, " There is an epidemic of spiritual amnesia going around, and none of us is immune.  No matter how many fascinating details we learn about God's creation, no matter how many pictures we see of His galaxies, and no matter how many sunsets we watch, we still forget.  Most of us know that we are supposed to love and fear God; that we are supposed to read our bibles and pray so that we can get to know Him better; that we are supposed to worship Him with our lives.  But to actually live it out is challenging."

Jesus, will you show me more of who you are and what you are calling me to?

Life in the ER

I've been thinking about what to write for this post, but I haven't yet had a day where I knew exactly what to write.  However, after last night, I will do my best to explain my job and everything that comes with it!

The ER is a bit crazy as a nurse all around.  The emotions that I have felt since I have started include:

Overwhelmed. Excited. Sad. Angry. Nervous. Adrenaline rush. Cold hearted. Encouraged. Welcomed. Loved. Appreciated. Bitter. Disappointed. Thankful.  

Everyday (or night in my case) there is something new and unexpected that I am learning and experiencing.  I have become like my mom in how I appreciate learning more and more.  I am a dork and love to learn about the body.  I like to know why things happen, what I need to do now and what the prognosis is for the patient.  Will this be short term?  Will this just be a temporary thing in their life or will this be something that will end up taking their life?

Last night was the most emotional night I have experienced.  We had a patient who had a serious illness to where we asked the wife to say her last words before we intubated her husband because he might not make it through.  This patient was around the same age as my own father and he's not very old!!!   The patient was completely fine an hour before he came in and a half hour into his ER visit, we had to tell his wife to say her potential last words to him (this is when I start crying as well).  However, I must keep doing my job, help stabilize her husband and transfer him as quickly as possible.  I told his wife that I would be praying for them and I hope and pray that they are doing okay.

On a happier note, there are things that I love about the ER.  I love that I still get a kid fix!  I will always try to win over the toddlers with a high five!  And it's not always easy since I'm the one poking around!

I love my new co-workers.  They have been more than supportive.  They get excited to see me when I come into work.  Three days into my orientation, my preceptor said that I would be just fine on my own if I needed to be.  I love some good encouragement.  The Lord has been very good.

We have a lot of funny stories as well.  We have seen some drunk college kids, one who almost urinated on my co-workers face; an Amish woman who was wearing a pink thong (Get. It. Girl.) and some drug seekers who think they can fool us, but they can't.  I just used the largest needle to give him his shot for "pain."

All in all, I like my job.  I am thankful that the Lord has provided me with this job.  I hope that my heart continues to break for these patients and families, yet I am able to be a strong nurse for them all.

I am thankful for my husband who I came home to crying this morning.  He is a wonderful listener and always tells me "you are such a good nurse."  I am thankful for my puppy who is awake with me into the middle of the night and keeps me company when I am home alone!  And lastly, I am thankful for my family.  Especially my wonderful parents and brother who have supported me in becoming a nurse!

I love being a nurse.  It is hard, but such a wonderful job.  I wouldn't trade it for any other job.



"They may forget your name but they will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou

Alex Writes a Blog

I would like to start out this blog by saying a big thank you to our readers. Especially our three (as of posting) followers. It has been very fun to hear the feedback and excitement people have about our lives. We love you.

* * *

So when Olivia proposed that we write a blog, she meant that WE should write it. Not just her. Well, one in four isn't bad, right? Right? Okay it's pretty bad. Even J.D. Drew can hit .250, or not.

So, in my desire to be more consistent than my beloved Red Sox, I am writing my first installment of the Winkfield Blog. It's a long season and we have to take it one blog at a time, but if we (I) stay motivated, we could do some real damage to the blogosphere. Here we go.

A few days ago, Olivia (my Extremely Hott Wife) wrote about our dog Jens, who is awesome. Tonight, I would like to tell you about someone even cooler, Olivia (yes, this could get sappy).

 Olivia > Lance Armstrong

I do not remember actually being introduced to Olivia. I remember seeing her at Young Life events and thinking:
1) She had awesome hair
2) She was really attractive
3) She was too short for me. As it turns out, the Lord has a pretty good sense of humor.

The face of beauty

We have now been together a little more than two years and married for almost one. In that time I have learned a lot about her, like what her favorite ice cream is (mint with gummy bears and brownies from Coldstone, duh), turned her into a Red Sox and Patriots fan, and most importantly, fallen more in love with her everyday.

She has given me advice, prayed for me, encouraged me, supported me in my job, moved away from family and friends for me, surprised me with gifts (as simple as homemade dinner, as extravagant as an iPhone), bragged about me, ridden her bike all summer with me, complimented me, challenged and corrected me, turned my eyes and my heart above and been the best friend I could have ever asked for. I have not always been a great husband, or friend to Olivia, but she is filled with grace and patience. She is loving and kind and I am thrilled to call her my wife.

Best. Day. Ever.

We have many things that we love to do together. Chief among them are travel and ride our bikes, which we hope to do in tandem (get it, it's a play on words) in the future. Olivia is excited about adventure and doing things together, and talking about different trips or plans for the future with her gets me even more excited to be with her.

Olivia is going to be an awesome mom. She loves kids and is great with them (+1 for pediatric nursing). She will be loving and sweet to them, strict when necessary and encourage them in all they do (especially if they are gymnasts/divers). She will be such a fun mom and, while I am in NO rush at all, I am excited to be a parent with her in the future.

This may sound strange, but I am excited to be old with Olivia, should the Lord bless us with old age. I am excited to still call her beautiful everyday and hope that our level of PDA goes through the roof as we get old.

I am not a blind optimist. I know that 50% of marriages in this country end in divorce. I know that marriage is hard and takes more than one can fully prepare for. 

I also know that while I hope to be with Olivia 'till death do us part, my hope is not found Olivia. We are both imperfect people. We are not capable of perfection. If my hope is found in Olivia, or if hers is found in me, we are only setting ourselves up for failure. Instead, we have set our hope in one we believe is perfect. Capable of perfect love and grace, and able to meet all of our needs. I am not here to tell you, Dear Reader what to believe or judge you based on your choices, that is not my intention. Just to share. 

Olivia and I believe that we were created to be in a relationship with God our maker, and that our sin has made that impossible for us to do on our own. We believe that Jesus Christ, the son of God, lived a sinless life on Earth as a human being, filled with the Holy Spirit and that his death on the cross atoned for our sins and gives us and you the opportunity to live in a relationship with God as He intended.

As I said before, I am not here to tell you what to believe. I will not think any less of you if these are not your beliefs and hope you will return the same courtesy. I do have two questions for you to consider:

1) What is your hope found in?

2) Can it love you perfectly?

With that, I say goodnight and thank you for reading.

Olivia, you are the love of my life. I hope you always know that.

Love,

Alex

Our little boy growing up!

Tomorrow night starts night shift nursing.  Therefore, tonight I will attempt to stay up until three so that my body can be more prepared for what is to come for my 7pm to 7am shift.   I just finished a wonderful bowl of Lucky Charms (the best cereal) and I am on my first diet coke.  Diet coke is my form of coffee.  It will become my life saver when I am exhausted at work and still have a few hours to go.

So, now that I am on night shift, I think I'll be blogging more while I am awake at home and my wonderful hubby is sleeping in our lonely bed.  Since we are obsessed with our dog, I thought I would post some pictures of him growing up.

The first couple of pictures are from the first day that we had him.  He weighed 13 pounds and could easily fit on my lap.  Here is little baby Jens, pronounced Yenz.  He was named after our favorite professional German cyclist, Jens Voight, who is hilarious.

The next two are Jens with his cousins.  Scout is the great dane, who he loves to play with.  And the next one is of Jens lying next to Morris, the chubbs.  

Ready for a walk!  When Jens was younger, he wasn't very talented with long walks.  He would stop once every half of a block if we were lucky.  He is much better now.  

Jens supporting us at Pelotonia.  He met us at every rest stop to give us some lovins.  

Jens protesting against us doing housework.  He wasn't a fan.  

Jens and his best friend Guss.  Oh, how we miss Guss and his wonderful parents!  

It's fall time.  Jens goes crazy in the leaves.  

The latest and greatest Jens.  He is up to 40 pounds at 5 months old!  We are so thankful to have such a wonderful puppy.  

Friends!!!

We're making friends!!!!  


So many of you know that I was hesitant to move to Wooster.   Six months ago I told Alex that he couldn't pay me to move to Wooster.  However, once we decided to move to here, I had a great peace from the Lord.  As the move got closer, I kept praying for fellowship and friends.  And the Lord has provided!  I couldn't be more thankful and excited.  


We randomly went to Wooster Church of the Nazarene three weeks ago to continue our church shopping adventures.  And we left thinking it was decent, but not sold.  The following week we returned and checked out the young adult sunday school class.  When we first walked in someone ask us if we were cousins with Aislinn.  And yes, we are.  Then when a couple introduced themselves to us and when we told them who we were, they responded, "We have been waiting to meet you guys!" We found out that we have mutual friends through young life.  The boys exchanged numbers and we had a couples date with them.  They even bought us dinner.  One thing that I have learned about Wooster, is that just about everyone you meet is very friendly.  


Today we decided to go back to Wooster Church of the Nazarene.  At Sunday School, we met more friends and we were invited to two small groups.  I again, left church today as one happy little girl.  


The Lord has been good.   Earlier this week I was truly struggling with why we left Columbus where we  have family, a great job and wonderful friends.  But even while I was struggling, I still knew that the Lord had plans for us,  and today was confirmation that it was going to be okay.  

Our First Blog!

Welp, we have officially hopped on the blogging bandwagon!  Our first posting will tell you a little about ourselves. . . So here we go!

Alex and I officially started dating two years ago.  However, we have been married for almost a year.  Some everyone might think it's crazy, however it has been the best two years of our lives.  Before we became "official," neither Alex nor myself thought we would be married until we were in our 30's.  However, things changed when Alex took me on our second date.  Our date consisted of an Ohio State football game (best date idea ever), delicious Hound Dog's Pizza, and a trip to the new library on campus, where he read me Polar Bear, Polar Bear.  And yes, he did make all of the animal sounds while reading.   As the night went on, Alex would ask, "just one more lap around campus. . . just one more time."  We all know how big campus is.  It's not a short lap.  With that being said, we walked and talked until 2am.  And also had our DTR.  Yes, on the second date we were official.  And the rest is history!

I married my best friend.  The one who makes me laugh, the one who encourages me more than anyone I have ever met and who loves me unconditionally.  We are now on an adventure together in the small town of Wooster, Ohio where we live close to the beautiful country roads and a place where the Lord has called us.  We welcome you to join in the adventure with us through our blog!  

p.s. It's date night and I'm pumped.