12.13.2011

A Love that I Don't Understand. . .

Lately I have been trying to understand the love of Jesus, our Lord and Savior.  But I can't comprehend it.  I feel lost because I don't understand this love and what it truly means to follow Him.  Since we have stopped leading Young Life, learning to live out the gospel in our daily lives has been a challenge.  With Young Life you had a wonderful tool to provide high school students with to share the gospel.  However, without this tool it is difficult!  I am worried what people will think of me since I live my life differently and if I will be loved just as I am.  I am worried about being outspoken about my faith.  But this is what Jesus has called us to.  The other day Alex and I were discussing how to love the Lord better in our lives.   He brought up the last words that Jesus says in the book of Matthew, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded to you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. " (Matthew 28:18-20.)  But are we doing this?  Are we ashamed of the gospel?

Recently our church finished a series of being a fan vs being a follower of Jesus.  For the past eight years I have called myself a follower.  However, am I truly following Jesus?  Praise God for grace, because that is what saves me.  I do not follow Jesus well every day.  I fall short.  However, I want to follow Jesus better.  I want to live the life that Jesus has called me to, but I think I am afraid.  I am afraid of becoming uncomfortable.  I am comfortable in life right now.  I am comfortable in our home, my job, my family, marriage and community.  Since I have been feeling this way, I am trying to discover the love of Jesus and his righteousness.    I know that I don't want to keep living my life the way I am.  I want to know the love of Jesus and fall in love with him all over again.  I want to be in awe of Jesus and who is he as Lord.

Francis Chan couldn't put it better.  In his book "Crazy Love," he states, " There is an epidemic of spiritual amnesia going around, and none of us is immune.  No matter how many fascinating details we learn about God's creation, no matter how many pictures we see of His galaxies, and no matter how many sunsets we watch, we still forget.  Most of us know that we are supposed to love and fear God; that we are supposed to read our bibles and pray so that we can get to know Him better; that we are supposed to worship Him with our lives.  But to actually live it out is challenging."

Jesus, will you show me more of who you are and what you are calling me to?